Temporal Contrast is Weird
I spent almost a month backpacking across the north of France and Belgium, and now suddenly I have to decide what I have to do for my entire life!
By the end of my month-long trip of the Grand-Est, Belgium and Brittany which started last month, I was exhausted — less exhausted physically, but more so because I wanted to see the sun. I had started getting cranky because of the bad weather during the last few days. I was still happy, and very proud of myself, that I did it. I met so many new people, I saw so many new places, learnt so much about the regional languages of France and Belgium — I now have notions of Breton, Vosgéen and Provençal, three dying regional languages of France. There was a constant adrenaline rush that I had been longing for so long. With this trip, I have now seen all the corners of France! My therapist had told me that I wasn’t intellectually stimulated enough, and hence this trip was a perfect reprieve.
I have started coming to terms with the fact that I will very likely start a Ph.D. this year, the thought of which is crazy! If you would have asked me what I wanted to do after my master’s, I would have said that I didn’t know, because I really didn’t, and I still don’t. But I suddenly have to work for getting my life together.
Almost all the friends that I made here in Marseille have either moved, or will soon be moving. They don’t want to stay in Marseille. I don’t see the problem with staying in Marseille, we have the sun here, we have the Mediterranean Sea here, we have mountains here. And on top of everything, we have good research opportunities here. And since all my friends are moving to the proverbial greener pastures, it feels like I am lagging behind. I also want the opportunities that they have. I don’t want to regret not having tried to pursue them. So, I most certainly will.
But moving (again) is hard. I have just started becoming comfortable with Marseille, and moving somewhere else now would mean changing everything I learnt, unlearning it and learning new stuff, which is a huge mental task that I don’t think I am ready for. But I don’t want to regret later by not trying.